[Photo credit: Candice Rose Knutson of candiceroseknutson.com]

Anne Marie Talon is a force of nature. To speak with her is to be moved. She keeps much of her work secret and hidden from the world but the flashes I get to see cause my heart to leap.We explore the myths of being an artist and her battles with depression.

Show Notes

References

AnneMarieTalon.com for all things Anne Marie!

Don't Follow Your Dreams - an amazing newsletter and story from Anne Marie

Hyperbole and a Half on Depression

Parker J. Palmer on Depression

Workshop Items

Resilience Bridge Building, An amazing PDF by Anne Marie Talon

Music to Move Your Soul

George Ogilvie on BandCamp and SoundCloud and iTunes

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Taking the Leap! podcast by Sean Howard is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

My first of many instant film venture boxes arrived in the mail today! I danced with joy as I ran it up into my studio.

This is the captivating venture of Mr. Jon Wilkening, a stunning pinhole film photographer in Philadelphia. He was my guest on episode 3 of Taking the Leap and also the man responsible for my shocking morning routine for the past 30 days.

Each piece is a signed work of art and they are delivered to your door every month.  It's like having your very own fine art photographer doing commission work for less than a coffee a day!

The most creative art buying venture of 2014. Stunning work and a brilliant idea. Please check out Jon's Instant Film Venture and help support one of the most breathtaking emerging artists in America.

I'm not scared of change. In fact, I don't think you find it scary either.

This is just a safe thing for us to say. It is a little trick we collectively use to cover up what I believe Jordan Peterson would call a hole in our map of the world.

I think we are really afraid of success.

Just about everyone denies this. Some do so quite emphatically, even with anger. 

It is safer to say we are afraid of change. We can all embrace this together and buy some self-help books on Getting Things Done or Taking Action. We even feel good saying it. Consultants can make lots of money doing change management and we can all stay safely in our cocoons.

But it's bullshit. I'm not afraid of trying a new sandwich at the local fast food joint. I even try new clothes or a bizarre haircut from time to time. Do I love disruption and change? No, but I'm not afraid of it. It doesn't make me curl up sobbing on the floor under my desk.

But one thing does do just that and it's contemplating success. Not just any success. I'm speaking of successfully answering my calling in the world – to live up to the full potential of what I came into this world to accomplish.

I'm told that the Sufi have a belief that when we die we are asked one question, "How many people did you feed?"

When I speak of success, I am speaking of this. When I say I am scared of success, I mean that I am torn completely apart by even contemplating the path to success. It seems to run counter to everything I have acquired, built or desired. This is not the case, but this is what it feels like. It tears my heart and soul out of my body and places them raw into the world and I am wracked by sobs.

To contemplate success, we must ask what matters to our soul. 

This is not a question that can be unasked so we run from it.

I am running from "loving people for their true potential and helping them to achieve nothing less."

What are you running from?

I had wanted to hang with Tania of Red Dot Design for quite some time. She produces the truly gorgeous This and That Images and while we had never met, we had known each other online for quite some time. 

I am an introvert of the highest order, so it was difficult for me to reach out and ask if she was interested in shooting with me. I remember her turning me down, albeit nicely, as she was quite swamped with work. I figured it was a nice way to back out of an awkward situation (going on a day trip with someone you don't know), but to my surprise she reached out to me a few weeks later to book the trip.

So earlier today we met before dawn and headed off in a random westerly direction. We shot the sun rising over the industrial smoke stacks of Hamilton, ran around the Hammer shooting old signs, ate breakfast in a wonderful little cafe, overpaid for gas and raced away leaving a perplexed gas attendant just standing there, and then raised havoc over milkshakes in an old country diner.

Tania gasped when she saw this building and so I pulled over and we scurried around the parking lot shooting in every direction.

I loved seeing what caught her eye and then using that to push myself to find different images – to see things differently.

Alone, I don't know if either of us would have been able to get this shot. Together we manage to approach, engage and get permission to take their photo!

For the first time in a long time, I had an ally to approach strangers and ask to take their photos!

We stumbled across the charred remains of an abandoned structure that had been someones cherished little country home. It was sad and a bit surprising to see that all the furniture, knick knacks, plates and mugs still laying where they fell who knows how long ago. We wandered around this farm house for about 2 hours feeling blessed to have come across it.

There is something transformative about setting out on an adventure with someone else who has similar passions, talents and interests. We laughed, shared tricks of the trade and when I sat down to look at what I shot on this trip, I realized my work had been pushed ahead by the interaction. And I had an amazing time to boot.

Here's to more crazy adventures. I vow to reach out to others and push myself to leave my comfort zone. Will you join me? What is your next adventure?

Copyright 2014, Sean Howard. Model is Eli McIlveen.

Self doubt can debilitate. It weakens our resolve and destroys our motivation. Worse, it is hard to spot and, once identified, difficult to fight off.

I was chatting with a friend about my Stop Dreaming and Start Doing PDF. They were working through one of the exercises and attempting to reframe a lack of confidence. Reframing is where we flip a perceived weakness on its head and explore how it actually gives us significant benefits.

I was stumped at first. How does one go about reframing self doubt?

In a world drowning in soulful advice to "just do it", "be happy" and "live the dream", it is only natural to expect our vocation to be a path of motivational posters, cheerleaders and the warm support of friends and loved ones. But what if this path was never supposed to be easy? 

Following our hearts means opening ourselves to risk, pain, soft sadness, loneliness, heartache and endless self-questioning. And as I'm reading in Pressfield's War of Art, each of these is easy fodder for resistance. Questioning ourselves can quickly become self-doubt. Loneliness can lead to distraction. Pain can direct us to turn away from our true purpose.

So here is my reframing for anyone out there who is questioning or doubting their abilities. You are a true warrior of the soul to even risk entering this territory of the heart and your true vocation/calling. The self-doubt is the sound of the enemy rallying their troops before you. It is the sign of the battle being called and the enemy is scared.

This is why most people sit unhappily at their desk jobs, waiting to win the lottery or die. I'd say they are scared, but so are we. The difference is that they are not yet warriors. 

So when you find yourself in a state of self doubt, raise your banner and charge forward with a warbling cry. You have entered into battle with the only forces that truly matter to your soul and the world.